MASH Notes

Is there something you've been meaning to tell us? Tell us! Good or bad, we want it all.

This nice gentleman wrote in response to our Cybele Says column. We went to the hands-down expert on the subject: the most darling Paul V.

Dear MASH,

I really enjoy your articles. My only gripe is this: Why can't you offer tips for guys who like to wear makeup? We have needs, too, just like the ladies. Because of our body chemistry, most cosmetics react differently on us - I'm thinking mostly about the way facial stubble can affect foundation and rouge. Any tips for the fellas? Give it up, girlfriend.

Peace out,

A troubled man

Hey Mr. Troubled Man,

Giving make-up tips to men is a scary ass proposition. Personally, all I need is my Max Factor base (in twist-up stick form), some Cover Girl powder, anything in red or pink powder for my rouge, garish eyeshadow, and Wet 'n Wild lipstick. Remember, the cheap stuff comes in drag queen colors, not Cindy Crawford colors. See, unless yer doing a photo shoot or gonna be blinded by the light of a TV camera, baby - STAY CHEAP! As for stubble, all you can do is shave as close as possible right before you wanna slap the cake on. A good tip is to shave up as well as down, then douse yer face with icy water (rent "Mommy Dearest") then use moisturizer (which closes up those gaping pores). Lastly, a quick spritz of Aqua Net hairspray on your face helps seal in all that beauty and cheapness for the entire evening.

Good tuck,

DJ Paul V. Dragstrip 66, www.dragstrip66.com

P.S. MASH MAG RULEZ!

Isn't Paul the king?!!

Perhaps you'd like to be a contributor to MASH magazine? We'd love to have you. Just send us your stuff and make the subject "Submission."

Email us at:

editors@mashmagazine.com