If you could put anyone in the White House, who would it be and why?

Baxter Black because he works on formerly large animals.

Sally and Jimmy Rubiner. No seriously, Studs Terkel, Annette Benning (she looks nice), Hunter Thompson and/or George Stephanopolis. [Editor's note: This person is not a Rubiner. He/She should not joke about a thing like Sally and Jimmy in the White House.]

Myself. Because I'm so tense right now that a blow job would be perfect. Hummer for those uptight people.

Michael Jordan. It's time for a strong black man who can be decisive and hit the fade-away jumper.

I think Martin Sheen would do an excellent job. He sure is good in "The West Wing." Gee, I guess it would make more sense to put Aaron Sorkin in. He writes the show. Him or Hilary. I like Hilary. I hope she gets to be our first chick president.

SOMEONE WHO IS QUALIFIED TO DO THE DAMN JOB!!! Isn't that a novel idea?

Anyone but George W. Bush.

What, if any, celebrity do you resemble (i.e. who do people say you look like)?

Vern in "Stand By Me"

People most often say Nicole Kidman, but I've gotten Bridget Fonda and Dana Plato (from "Different Strokes") too.

Matthew Broderick from his "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" stage. But recently I also got a Gomez Adams and a Ben Affleck. Don't ask me why.

Ben fucking Folds. Time and time again.

A bus driver said that I looked like Nancy Kerrigan (the ice skater). It really ruined my day.

I don't look like anyone. I don't know if that's good or bad. One time, over email, without ever having seen me, someone thought I must look like Sarah Jessica Parker. It's a personality thing. I think somebody once said I looked like Laura Dern, and though I'm okay with that, I don't think it's true. And another person thought I looked like Jim Carrey's girlfriend in "The Truman Show," but I haven't seen the movie. Oh wait! I've been told I both look and sound like the woman who plays Kate on "The Drew Carey Show." I can get behind that.

Mary Tyler Moore ... ugh!

What was your scariest nightmare ever?

I was having sex with these odd androgenous bird people with only one orifice (much like a bird).

I used to have serial dreams about getting shot. Once I got shot (in a dream) at school and the nurse told me to go back to class.

I went on a killing spree. Blood. Guts. Everything. In the dream I got away too. It was a well planned out killing spree.

Almost getting married at 20 - oh wait, that was real ...

The one where Gary Coleman was on my college campus in the summer. He had on a big winter coat and I asked him why he was wearing it. He took it off to show me that his skin had been grafted on and was now peeling off.

I had a lot of nightmares when I was little. After a while I got pretty good at controlling them - recognizing that they were nightmares before they got too far and ending them. But I had some formative ones as a kid that shaped the way I did things. I had all sorts of rituals in my waking life in order to avoid the witches and vampires and ghosts in my dreams. The one that probably affected me the most was about a witch following me down the long dark hallway in my parents' house. That one fucked me for years.

A dinosaur was chasing me.

How would you feel if nudity were perfectly acceptable in public?

Initially, self-concious, but I would get used to it.

It's fine if you're hot.

It would kill the mystique of sex. Trust me. After working nearly two years in a porn factory seeing a naked girl is not as exciting as if the naked girl was on fire.

Erect sometimes, disgusted others, confused often.

I'm very keen on nudity. I think we'd all be a bit more well adjusted were it a common thing. Although as comfort goes, I've always like the idea of a bra and undies colony. 'Cause I'm simply more comfortable in a bra. And more often than not, I'd prefer undies to having stray juices running down my legs. Sorry you asked?

Nudity's fine on some people, but it's not for me. It's not that I'm unattractive, my pale skin doesn't do well when exposed to the elements. It would be no fun to have a sunburn on my boobs.

Slightly revolted.

Do you wish you were a different height? How tall are you?

Yes. Two inches taller. I'm 6'.

I'm 5'3 though I always tell people 5'4. I'd like to be 5'6. I think it would solve most of my problems. That would kick ass.

Yes and no. Sometimes I wish I were bigger but then who the fuck cares. It doesn't make you a better person or happier. I would like a minature bride though. About 8" tall. I could carry her in my pocket and she would say tiny things like, "I am so small."

A couple more inches wouldn't hurt. But I'll take my six feet. And some ladies do too . . .

Yeah, 5'9". I'm 5'7.5".

I'm pretty happy with my height. I'm five feet seven. An inch or two more would be cool. I'm very happy I'm not any shorter.

I'd like to be an inch or two shorter. Being a 6' woman is fine for models but I seem to be surrounded by tiny men and women who look up at me like I'm the freak.

No, 5'6'' is perfect.