So we're at the Viper Room (you know, where River Phoenix dropped. Hey! No, wait, we suppose that doesn't count as a star spotting ...) seeing the always entertaining band Itch, when a long-haired, bebandannad gent leans across the table, hand extended and says, "Hi, I'm Leif." We were really cool and laid back when we took the hand, as if we didn't KNOW FULL WELL HE WAS FORMER TEEN HEARTTHROB LEIF GARRETT! Heavy on "the former," though. Kids, take our advice: in addition to the many bad bad things drug addiction will do to you, it will take away your pretty face. Cocaine use aside, he's very sweet.

Okay, now how's this for fucked up? Just that very same night we notice a handsome man with pale eyes and long hair. Don't think much of it until a friend says, "Dude, did you see Fabrice?" Of course we thought he was talking about the fabric freshener and thought that was an odd thing to be shouting over a band. But no, he was referring to one half of Milli Vanilli! The living half, of course, but this is where it becomes odd (as if the evening weren't already odd). "Oh," wethinks, "that's who that cute guy is." We get home, we surf the web, we become confused. The guy we saw appears to be the non-living half of Milli Vanilli - Rob (alav ha-sholom). We do some extremely confused and embarrassing investigating. Our friend tells us, no, Fab was there but his hair's not really long. We also find out he's dating a friend of ours! And that he's a lovely sweet man. Okay, that's all well and good, but does no one care that we saw a ghost?

Now imagine us breathing on our fingernails and polishing them on our shirt as we tell you we saw Spielberg sitting in front of Baskin-Robbins. It was one of those walk-bys where you each turn to the other and say, "Was that?" Baseball cap, beard - the works - just reading the paper, not looking important at all. Haven't a clue why he was sitting there in the middle of Studio City. Maybe the wife and kids were inside getting a treat.

Speaking of treats, you know who Nicholas Lea is? Probably not, but we know, oh how we know. He's that great beauty Krycek, sexy double crosser on TV's "The X-Files." So the kind of guy you actually want to force you up against a wall in a threatening fashion. Sigh. Oh yeah, so anyway we're taking the short cut over the Hollywood Hills through the Mt. Olympus neighborhood, and we think to ourselves, should we be scofflaws and take the shortest shortcut making the illegal left, or should we avoid it? We avoided the left like the good little girl that we are and are so rewarded by the sight of this beautiful man powerwalking up the inordinately steep hill. We actually considered shouting our undying love from the window or turning around or something just to momentarily exist in his consciousness, but we didn't want to be crass and uncouth. Oh but dearest Krycek ... Needless to say we've since walked our dog there countless times in hopes of running into him, but alas we've encountered nothing but shinsplints.

Here's to better luck next time ...