Early on my idea of a self portrait was a picture of my head or face: straight on, smiling, flattering make-up and expression - pretty picture. I quickly realized that even photography wasn't going to improve my big nose or crooked smile all that much.

In school we studied Cindy Sherman and I began borrowing ideas of playing dress-up - acting out characters and roles - and then shooting them. I found comfort in pretending to be someone else and it helped get me started on my first project - a self portrait assignment. Eventually I began to enjoy being the subject and the shooter. I found a lot of inherent power in the dual roles. It was a liberating experience - I finally had control over the production and outcome of my own image.

I eventually saw the work of Nan Goldin. One of her self portraits showed her bloodied swollen face and black eye after having been beaten up by her boyfriend. It was a scary photo, but it impacted me greatly. The power to relate a complete story in that one photo was amazing, and her brutal honesty inspired me to look deeper into my own work, bringing out darker moments and moods. I was also introduced to work by Duane Michals and Francesca Woodman, both of whom I count as major influences. They were each using the body as a tool to relay information, utilizing long exposures and making alternately playful and serious images. I particularly related to Woodman's work and see my own images as a continuation of the spirit and energy that she herself brought to her work, both as subject and as shooter.

Lately I find myself having visual re-awakenings: moments when I am re-learning to see, feel, and experience light, texture, time and environment. The images here are an extension of early experimental self portraits, though the newer work involves shooting models who are generally close friends. The work investigates ideas common to all women - moods, emotional states, indescribable feelings - expressed visually. I shoot primarily in domestic settings, using available light, the model's furniture, and an antique camera. This opens up opportunities for spontaneity in a shoot, from both the models and myself. The images come across to me like thoughts, leaving a moment undefined and hopefully worthy of contemplation.

I am especially grateful to my friend (and model) Vanessa Noll Mack, who, as a fellow photographer, has encouraged and enabled me to expand my visual vocabulary. These images and more can be found at my website, www.wasilausky.com.

--Sara Wasilausky

Images from left, top to bottom:
Untitled self portrait
Self portrait as a dress
Vanessa & Carmen
Radiation
Five Dresses

all photos © Sara Wasilausky.