Shakin' That Ass

I suffer from DJ envy. When I watch some kid behind a bank of mixing gear turn a poorly lit, overpriced nightclub into a tent revival, I want to bum-rush the stage and share the glory. When I hear a string of seemingly unrelated songs woven into some shimmeringly meaningful fabric by a radio jock's alchemy, I want to turn my car around and point it into the warm center of the signal.

Apart from a show at a 10-watt station in college, however, I haven't had much chance to be a DJ myself.

Until recently I got my fix by making mix cassettes for parties. The cassette's a crappy medium for a variety of reasons, chief among them that it just breaks when it so desires. Add to that the fact that once recorded, it can't accommodate the response on the dance floor. And it stops after 45-50 minutes (which means a buzz-killing pause, even if you have auto reverse).

Then I discovered PCDJ Phat, a freeware program for the PC that features two digital music players and a cross-fader, so that songs can segue into one another (I don't often use the pitch controls, but they allow tracks to be sped up or slowed down to preserve a nearly seamless tempo continuity). It's still a little buggy for prime time, but I figure that by the time the app comes into its own, I'll be something of an expert. And then I'll hit the party, plug my laptop into the amp and rock your world.

To that end, I've been ripping tracks from CDs and downloading them via file-sharing programs (all in the name of science, I assure you) to fill my PCDJ "record crate." Here are a few faves from the last year or so:

"I See You Baby" by Groove Armada (Jive). "Grandma Funk" exhorts the crowd to do what it does best. The Fatboy Slim remix recalls the Big Beat catharsis of Fatboy's own best confections, which bridge the gap between dance and rock like nothing since the go-go cage. And hell, any song that gets people chanting "shakin' that ass" over and over is fine by me.

"Vivrant Thing" and "Breathe and Stop" by Q-Tip (Arista). The eclectic and stylish Q-Tip has been known to fans of adventuresome hip-hop for over a decade thanks to his group, A Tribe Called Quest. But these singles from his solo debut are milestones of stripped-down, high-spirited freakiness. Funky, futuristic and fun, they're also powerfully erotic.

"Caligula" by Macy Gray (Epic). A particular favorite of MASH's own Carla Ridge (and from a brilliant album, On How Life Is, reviewed here in October '99), this smoldering funk tune is an irresistible bump-and-grind with some incredibly sexy imagery. Beware: A blend of this churning, frisky groove and a few cocktails may lead to unforeseen consequences.

"Devil's Pie" by D'Angelo (Virgin). Currently melting radio listeners with his torchy hit "Untitled," D'Angelo (with help from hip-hop trailblazers The Roots and others) bakes up a monster funk groove on "Devil's Pie," then glazes it with a minimalist horn loop and a cluster of harmonized warnings about temptation and excess. It's deep, dark and unstoppable.

"Honey," "Natural Blues" and "Run On" by Moby (V2). By welding samples of Smithsonian folk recordings -- field hollers, a capella gospel harmonizing and back-porch blues -- to modern dance beats, techno hero Moby has virtually invented a new genre. By turns symphonic, greasy and menacing, these tracks (along with most of the rest of his current album, Play) will move you from the soul on down.

"The Bad Touch" by Bloodhound Gang (Republic/Universal). This horny anthem draws heavily on synthesizer-driven U.K. dance-pop from the '80s, and it's bound to make your party guests crazy. Moreover, if enough booze has flowed, you could have an entire houseful of friends screaming the Gang's refrain: "You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals/So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel."

I'll have more dance-mix reflections when the mood hits me. But keep your ears peeled for a dance-pop diva called Lina, who gives electronica an earthy, '40s-style personae -- think Billie Holiday meets Bjšrk -- on her yet-to-be-released debut (coming sometime in the future from Atlantic, so I'm told).

You heard it here first.

--Simon Glickman