What were some of your favorite candies as a kid? Had 'em recently? Any good?

Strawberry Charleston Chew, Almond Joy.

I liked the big rings that were diamond suckers. I haven't had one of those in forever, but if I proposed to someone, I would give her one of those. And when she started laughing and saying how cute it was, I would tell her I wasn't fucking kidding and if she took it off or licked it down to nothing, that it was grounds for divorce. That'll show her. Wait, what was the question again?

Skittles. Pure sugar rush. I think Skittles are the reason they invented Ritalin.

Lemon Heads, Lemon Tangy Taffy.

Charleston Chews which were actually quite disgusting (VERY CHEWY as the name suggests). Haven't had 'em since maybe ... third grade?

Bazooka Bubble Bum, Three Musketeers, white chocolate lollipops from Howard Johnson's.

Chocolate ones called "n***** toes" [Editor's note: Pardon our censorship - just couldn't bring ourselves to type that.]

Bottlecaps - the rootbeer flavor - I get some about once every five years - it makes me feel like I'm in kindergarten.

Candy cigarettes. I don't think they make them anymore.

Salt Water Taffy (Peanut butter from LA County Fair - haven't had in a while), Abba Zabba (always), Big Hunks (always), and I love those sparkle bars from the ice cream man and now the Good Humor Company makes one called cookies and cream which is just the sparkle bar without the chocolatey center. I am obsessed!

When I was real little, those chocolate-covered cherries in the pink wrapper. Damn, those things are foul!

Zott balls, Razzles, Bottle Pops.

Used to LOVE "Rocky Road" candy bars. After having one recently, all I can say is WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING! Candy corn definitely, Gobstoppers - because of the Willy Wonka connotation.

Tootsie Roll Pops (three licks, even now, to get to the center) [Editor' note: Hey man, that's not true. We may never know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.]

MMM. Dip and Lik ... actually, there's a nasty story about that. We used to call a girl at school Dip and Lik, but for reasons other than her love of the candy. Now I can't eat them anymore.

Boston Baked Beans. They and all the Ferrara-Pan candies came in a box that, when empty, created a great whistle if you shoved one end in your mouth. 'Course that would only last the five minutes or so before the box gets really soggy.

Marathon Bars. Remember those? They were braided chocolate covered caramel things. You could take a good bite and stretch the caramel really far. Always like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Still do.

Candy corn - absolutely foul now. Pixie sticks, Smarties, Sweet Tarts, anything "fruit" flavored that can make your eyes water - deee-lish!

Strawberry Charleston Chews, frozen and smashed into bite size bits (actually, tended to end up in shards). Haven't even thought about them in (frickin) years.

Skittles and anything sour. After living in Europe, I've decided that American candy sucks. Skittles are still my favorite and always will be.

 

Have you had any fun strip club experiences you wanna tell us about? Yeah, well, tell us about them.

Went to a strip club in Kansas and saw some of the most disgusting naked bodies available and I wondered who was paying them to take their clothes off. Then they walked around naked and asked, "Do you want to tip me?"

I have never been to a strip club. Getting aroused around other men seems kinda blech to me.

Yes. I was getting a lap dance and then a certain editor of an online magazine started making out with this totally hot stripper named Heather. [Editor' note: Said editor has no recollection of actually kissing said stripper and suspects this writer was experiencing a bit of wishful thinking.]

My cousin had a bachelor party in Vegas about three months ago. Wound up at Spearmint Rhino and had lap dances from four different gals. The second best one one bit my ears and pinched my nipples as hard as she could while she performed her dance of the lap. $100.00 gets you a private dance (three songs long) behind the etched glass partition. I had a petite little vixen who let me touch everything but her floss covered privates. She ground me quite well. I told her I'd give her another $20.00 if she would let me finish. So, she did and I did in my shorts. Way hot! Later that night, I dropped my funky skivvies next to the head of one of the guys sleeping on the hotel room floor. He was a little bit peeved. I thought it was funny.

Oh fell in love with a pretty stripper named Heather ... oh Heather. Soft and sweet, blond and tiny. Never saw her again but mooned over her for weeks afterward.

For my birthday I was given a "parade" of mini-lap dances. I'd never even been in a strip club before. They put me up on the stage in a chair and made me take off my glasses (I'm blind as a bat). The first dancer assured me I wouldn't need them. She was right! Whew! It was a series of waves of lovely skin and scents washing over me. It really felt like the women enjoyed their work a lot. Later one of them told me she likes dancing for women because they don't grab you and they don't smell. It's certainly a different world than mine, fun to visit but I wouldn't want to live there.

No. I've never had fun in a strip club.

Hah! I have lots of good strip club stories, all positive. But the greatest came up during a "Best Masturbation Story" conversation. I was able to shock my companions by saying, "I once masturbated at the rail in a strip club in Vegas in front of all of you." I'm a girl. I had a skirt on. I was very discreet. But I was tipsy and there was just too much sex flying around for me to take it.

No. Been to one strip club at the behest of a tremendously dreadful colleague - it was hard to enjoy.

Er ... strip-club virgin ... the only one in LA?

I got the sickest lap dance at the Spearmint Rhino a few weeks back. This girl was up my shirt, sucking on my nipples and trying to go down my pants. I was left in heat afterward.

On a slow, rainy August weeknight, I met Manhattan's most forthright stripper. She looked to be in her mid-forties, young body & leathery smile - though she'd retained her original pair of belles. On the catwalk she'd pause in front of each man, squat, spread her thighs 140 degrees apart and point. If you bothered to look at her wry smile, you'd get it immediately: "vagina. Transaction. Only fives, no singles, fucking thank YOU, sir."

Going to a strip club in Hollywood with my adorable French coworker and her adorable French sister, who was visiting from out of town, after I'd had a hard day at the DMV getting a new driver's license. I had to use that little piece of paper they give you as a temp i.d. to get into the joint.

After going into debt at a friend's bachelor party, I decided I was not, and never will be, ready for the big leagues.

I don't think you can have any FUN strip club experiences when you actually WORK there!

 

Do you chew on any (of your own) body parts (e.g. we sometimes chew on the inside of our cheeks)?

Skin on the the back of my arm.

No. I prefer to pick scabs.

I sometimes bite my skin or hand.

Inside of cheeks, sometimes I wonder if other people have that line on the inside their cheeks and then I remember - I'm crazy.

Yes ... I have incredible reach.

Mine or someone else's? This is probably what I get for never being a cigarette smoker.

I chew my cuticles until they bleed. I'm not proud of that. I chew the inside of my cheeks, too, but I'm trying to stop that since it's giving me wrinkles.

Sometimes I dream that I'm caught in a trap and I wake up chewing on my wrist.

I prefer the insides of my cheeks to chewing gum. Also the inside of my lower lip.

Yes, cheeks and cuticles.

Occasional cheek chewing but otherwise not really.

Cuticles, fingernails, lower lip (gently).

Nails.

No, but there are some places on my body that are eternally moist.

On the ends of my hair, but rarely, and never in public.

I bite on my lip when I'm nervous or stressed out.

 

When was the last time you had an HIV test? Did something prompt you to go other than the fact that sexually active people should get tested?

Never been.

I've never had one. I have no sex or safe sex, always.

Four weeks ago. I gave blood and they do and HIV test for you.

Last year. No, annual check up.

God knows, hundreds of years ago but since I was in a long term monogamous relationship where I always used condoms I feel I'm okay. But yeah, I know, I should get tested.

Six years ago, new relationship, just being responsible, no real worry.

Never. I'm a virgin.

Back in the dark ages.

HIV is a myth.

About eight years ago. The day after Magic Johnson made his announcement. My boyfriend and I (who had been together like two years already!) decided if he could get it, anyone could. But we were neg.

I went before having sex with my "serious" (and seriously gay!) college boyfriend, just because it was responsible.

No prompting. Last year I think???

About five years ago. Was starting a new relationship.

Age 19, five years ago, the beginning of real awareness about the disease.

Two years ago, prompted by a year of carefree pleasure. a safely conducted year, but one ought to be sure. No other reason, save that the West Hollywood free clinic is a rockin' place to spend your Thursdays.

A few months ago. It was about six months after I shamefully had unprotected sex (but the guy told me he was a virgin ... still, I don't think he really was).

Hmm. Probably six years or so ago. I've been exclusively with the same partner for the past eight years.

About six years ago, prompted by woman who would not let me sleep with her until I did.

Never. I'm afraid of shots. I avoid needles and panic when I see them and start screaming when they're pointed at me.

 

How old were you when you started wearing make-up? Did you have to sneak it? What was it?

I wore eye liner, occasionally, in high school. As a straight guy you could do that in the 80s.

I've only wore make-up once.

Wore foundation that was my sisters' who have a completely different skin tone than I do (isn't that always the way?). Actually I was embarrassed because my skin was so white so I watered it down and wore it on my legs(!!!) to fool people. I know I am the most insane person you've ever encountered.

14 or 15. Used to put it on in the bathroom at Friendly's.

Still don't.

I was in middle school. Don't remember which grade. I think I stole a little pot of my mother's Clinique blush. Not so much because I wanted to wear make-up but because the little thing of blush was so cute. At some point I think I filched some eyeliner, too. I don't even think I had to sneak it. Don't know if my mom ever noticed it on me or not.

14-15 and I snuck it on on the bus. Didn't have to wash it off at the end of the day cause my parents weren't home.

I started wearing lipstick in sixth grade, when I was eleven. I didn't have to sneak it, but I did get in trouble at school.

Eye shadow and yes I had to sneak it and I think I was about 13.

16, no, and eyeliner.

About 13 I think, didn't really have to sneak it. I wasn't exactly into metallic blue eye shadow so it wasn't really noticeable.

Ah, fourteen. Stage make-up, so perhaps it doesn't count (church musical) but really - I can apply mascara and foundation with the best of 'em.

I was about 12 or 13. My mom actually WANTED me to wear make-up, and took me for a complete makeover to show me how to use it all. Now I can't leave the house without it. That's how severely my mom affected my self-esteem!

Well, being male and with no secrets to share, it was in my 7th grade play. I was Caesar. I was pretty damn good looking, too, with that Al-Gore-red rouge plastered on my cheeks.

Eleven. Oh yes, and got busted almost every time. I was particularly drawn to eye makeup, with its broadest range of fabulous colors.

Make up?! Please explain! Joking! I don't wear a lot of make up and I never really did. I can't understand what's so interesting and exciting about it. Anybody know? Please tell me!