Notes From The Porn Front

So it took them four days to realize that I was doing absolutely nothing. Well, that's not true; every few hours I had a good nap. I'd wake up, have some snacks - fresh fruit, juice, a few fun-sized Snickers - then I'd read until got sleepy. Then I'd say to anyone who wasn't listening, "I gotta run out, be back in 20 minutes," which would grow into an hour as I drove up the street to my house to play guitar, sing some songs, check messages, water the plants, joke with Glen.

I'd do this loop about three times a day. Each time I'd return to the set, eat some more snacks, find a comfortable place to lay down and read until I got sleepy. One day I even managed to walk down to the library and check out some books. When I got back I didn't even try to make up an excuse. I just walked into the make-up/wardrobe room and stumbled in on the latest star to arrive with her bag of favorite clothes.

Now this is where it gets strange. You see, it's my job to help them pick out and put on a good looking wardrobe. I stand there and say great, great, referring to the fact that they actually remembered to bring anything at all because usually even with the ten reminder calls they somehow manage to forget everything. I'm impressed you brought your shoes and your favorite outfit. And out of the bag comes some rhinestone cowboy show boots and acid washed shorts. Hey well it's a start. Ya look great. What's endearing is the actual excitement they get showing their stuff off. But then again, a lot of these guys and girls are still big fans of Ratt and Poison.

For about five minutes I'm doing my job: porno wardrobe. And she's this veteran porno woman who butts in on any and all conversation to tell you about herself and how much she knows and everywhere she's been. She's a daily guest on the MeMeMy show. She's got like three suitcases of early 80s stripper shit, but what she's determined to wear are these stretch pants and white half top. Hello, white doesn't look good on camera. So she's wearing white during the blow job scene. Mr. Pop's shot disappears and I'm ready for my third nap of the day, laughing to myself.

If you could only see the director's face as he stands watching the monitor for a climax. When this guy's finally going to shoot, he goes, "Oh yeah, oh yeah baby here it comes, I'm gonna come," and then time stops and the director's got his hand around the rolled-up script gripping tighter, and the lighting guy's poised with his hand-held tweenie, and the boom operator's hovering over the actors and the girl's on her knees on some hay and she's got her mouth open and her eyes are wide open and she knows she's about five seconds away from already-cold El Pollo Loco, and the well hung Okey is going stroky strokey, "I'm gonna come baby. OH YEAH, HERE IT IS," and her tongue is ready and the camera's ready and the director's thinking he's gonna go mainstream and everybody's ready for him to come. And he comes. From out of the mushroom tip comes like two tiny drops of clear jizz, and that's it. And the stud is yanking his now semi-soft dick trying to milk more out of it and there's nothing on the girl's tongue, and the director is left with a crumpled script.

And I look around and it just seems so silly. I search these people's faces and words for clues to what has lead them down this path - their motivation to descend into this, and I do mean down. For although I try not to judge, the damage can't be ignored. You can see it in the eyes. Some are so far away. Others seem to know exactly what's going on.

Eve got in, not to pay off her bills, 'cause she's already got that covered, but rather just to get ahead. What she really wants is to re-carpet her apartment "all gray" she says, unaware that it's the apartment manager's job to do that.

Then there's Adom. He got into the business by watching pornos 18 hours a day doing a scene by scene, play by play action memo from his Van Nuys apartment. "There's Sindee giving head to a black guy while being done doggie style," "Heather Heat in threesome while masked man watches." So Adom is there logging it all into his computer database for future use for quick response and video rental help. You have to make it easy for people. You know a guy comes into the video store and says, "I'm into Asian girls who like it up the rear." Thanks to Adom, no more of that fruitless searching, oh no he'll be out the store door and back to his dark room much more quickly than before. Oh yeah, by the way, Adom's tongue, ears and eyebrow are all pierced with heavy gauge silver bars. His main gig is piercing and that's how he met his girlfriend who just happens to be in porno.

Then there's Gwendolyn. She knows she'll look back and say, "What the hell was I doing?" but for now she's just a normal valley girl from a good family. She's too smart and too stupid all at the same time and doesn't know who to listen to. She got into the business as a way to get back at her husband after finding out that he had been working as a stunt penis during their engagement. She went to the set with him and jumped right in and started fucking away the pain. I asked her if it was working. She said yes. So the two of them are as happy as can be. Of course she's sick of sex now that it's her job but she was never a very good waitress and they bought this great big purple velvet couch that their untrained puppy eats and pisses on daily, but hey, "This year is gonna be different than last," she says. "I'm getting my bank account now and saving for college and I know I'll just end up being some biology research assistant." After she gets her General Ed over with. Mom and Dad don't know what she's doing and she gets a little freaked when "Entertainment Tonight" shows up on set to do a special because porn's coming mainstream. She's scared and for a second I see this bit of concern for what she's doing and in the background the TV lady is saying "And now an inside look at 'Women in the Industry.'" I walk to the other room and get my second or third doughnut of the day and there is a part of me that wants to get a blow job from the valley girl, but that desire disappears with my doughnut.

--Johnne Perez

"Notes from the Porn Front" will continue in installments for the foreseeable future.

Remember, this is just the boy's day job. In reality, among other talents, Johnne Perez is an artist. Please go see his beautiful sculptures in the first ever Artist of the Month feature.

Photo and text copyright © 2000 by Johnne Perez. All Rights Reserved.